THE FEAR and CHANGE

I am currently trying to make some changes in my life and everything is turning out to be harder and more complicated than I anticipated. It is already June 9th and I have the majority of my summer planned by what must be completed each week and weekend to make my goals for Fall.

In the past two years, I have experienced and learned a lot, but I got comfortable. And although I am prone to anxiety, my intense anxiety has been on a hiatus. I have had a similar routine since graduating, I first worked days for a year and a half and now I work 11-7. I have worked out regularly and then stopped and back and forth and back and forth. I’ve had countless dinners and happy hours. I have driven to San Antonio for weekends with my momma and to Katy for meals and board games with the Oswalts. Now I am attempting to shake things up. To do list items that were labeled as “easy” when given a spot on the calendar are turning out to be timely and difficult.

Let this serve as a notification to all those who endure my craziness. The FEAR is here.


Magnolias in Savannah calm THE FEAR, I think I should have just stayed there for the summer.

Mrs. Wilkes, Hearse Ride, Planters, Ruby

On my journey a few weeks ago, Mike and I stopped in Savannah, Georgia. It was gorgeous, old, and chilly. We were not prepared with warm clothes. I had a fleece that I’d brought for my flight to Orlando that I wound up wearing everyday. Mike had sent his winter clothes home with mom, but found a Christmas sweater in a suitcase that he wore everywhere.


Since I brought the camera, all of my vacation pictures consist of Michael standing in front of something. There is a lot more where this came from, but one only needs so many pictures of her brother.



Above is the hearse that we traveled around town in. Ghost tours are only worth the time if done from the back of a hearse. The tour guide dropped us off last and then discussed with me how he thought Savannah must be over a pocket of energy, like in LOST, spirits are drawn to this spot. He stated very plainly that he had seem more ghosts in Savannah than anywhere else. The tour guide said they had similar tours in New Orleans, where he is from, but there were no real ghosts there. Soo…. if you are looking for ghosts, Savannah is your only option in the deep south.



We tried to watch Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil because it is mentioned every two minutes in Savannah, we were bored instantly. Above is the Mercer house, the setting of the book and film.


Above, Michael and I drinking wine in a 200+ year old basement, we know how to have fun.

Discovery Park

At Emily’s volleyball tournament (now a few weeks back), JMO and I hung out in Discovery park for a bit. We tried laying in the grass and then encountered ants; we moved on to these half circles. We each sit in one and your voice just carries to the other end. On my end, some girls asked if I could step aside so they could take pictures. I don’t think they knew how it worked. I went down to JMO’s side and we listened as they talked about taking photos for their myspace page. Every time I began to giggle, I was told to shhhhh. If they heard me giggle, they would realize we could hear their discussions of their photography sessions.

Point is- go to Discovery Park. It is awesome. If you sit in the half circles, your voice carries.

Emily Rocks.




I spent my weekend at Emily’s volleyball tournament at the George R. Brown. It gave me some opportunities to try some different functions on my camera. The “burst” mode which takes pictures one after another, which is nice for action, but also if you take enough pictures, your bound to come up with a few decent ones. There was an action mode as well, these modes, combined, provided many photos of Emily about to hit a ball or 2 seconds after she hits a ball. I seem to miss the actual moment of Emily to ball contact. Credit for the action shot below goes to JMO, he was far more patient than I, you can pick out the ones he took by the amount of action actually occurring in the shot.




Now I may be biased, but Emily is damn good. She’s serious, she serves amazingly, she is tough, she hits the ball hard or to an uncovered area on the other side. I am not athletically inclined, so talk up from me doesn’t really say much, but she is AWESOME. I have never been, and probably won’t ever be as athletic as my sister. I lack hand – eye coordination, not to mention the determination it takes to make you an actual athlete. I don’t know my sister as well as I would like too. We live in different cities and are 10 years apart, but I like the person I see. I like the girl I talk too. She isn’t petty and girly like 14 year old me. I was busy trying to figure out how to fit in with Mississippi girls, maybe I needed a sport. I’m not sure Mississippi was classy enough for club volleyball though, or club anything beside football.



These girls are in sync as a team. They are cohesive. They are confident. Teenage girl athleticism sounds like a good start to solving the world’s problems (at least the one’s that originate from female self esteem issues). Watching teenage girls and observing them 10 years after you’ve been through the horrific preteens, was a good reminder of that former lil me life. Emily doesn’t seem to mess with as much of the teenage girl drama as I did; I’m glad and I’m sure my parents are too. She doesn’t need it, SHE IS FABULOUS. Above: Emily serves the winning point.

Christian and me.

I think after this I will be done stalking Sandra’s family for a bit. But… isn’t he the cutest baby? She really does know how to make some good looking kids. Christian didn’t want to open his eyes the whole time we were there, but I hear they are blue. He is just some peaceful and calm, like his mother.

Tooth brushing.

Devin came to hang out with me the other night. He went to the bathroom and pulled the stool to the sink. When I came to check on him, he was using my toothbrush.
He was very proud that he got the toothpaste himself. He took enough for a week’s worth of brushing.
Maybe dental school is in his future?