Big and Little.

Big:

Friends=awesome
Boyfriend=wonderful
Home=finally decorated, comfortable
Reading=pleasant
Godson=fabulous
Soon to be godson=almost born
Parents=love me and support
Debt=don’t have any
Savings=growing
Sister=growing into an awesome person
Brother=choosing the next exciting chapter of his life

Little:

Electric bill=high
Chi=broken
Laundry=dirty
Dry cleaner=stuff has been there for a month
Library=can’t keep up
Work hours=take the better part of my day
Work projects=varying levels of interesting
Life direction=undecided
Working out=can’t seem to make enough time
Sleep=can’t seem to fall asleep and can’t seem to get out of bed

Generally I find myself frustrated. But why? Everything that truly matters to me is going wonderfully. I have amazing people in my life. My parents are always caring and supportive; my brother and sister are always interesting. My boyfriend just moved back from New York and I have a lot of fun with him. He challenges me, makes me think about what I want. I have good friends and fun times, but I let all of these little things in life keep me in a frustrated state. The good far outweighs the bad in my life. I have little to complain about in the things that truly matter. I am thankful for all I have and am going to start making a better effort to appreciate it or try at least.

Lessons.

Tonight I had dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen since last Spring. It was good to see an old familiar face, but also interesting to see how much had changed since graduation. We worked together at Transportation at A&M. Which translates to me spending around 10 hours a week talking to this girl between “work.” The year we graduated Emily went on several interviews a week. She was honing her skills, but also trying to learn what she wanted. I was so intimidated by all of her interview stories and how much she seemed to be learning. It seemed that there was no way she wouldn’t get a good job. Emily’s out of college job offer wound up being considerably more than mine. But she chose the job that offered her the most money. She spent the next year hating her job, her coworkers, and the expectations of her work. I had known she disliked the job, but I was not aware of the extent.

Emily realized at about the one year mark that she had had enough, and she put her two weeks in, without having another job. She had saved and prepared for possibly leaving, so she was ready to fully dive into the job search. It took her a month, but Emily found a position that she is loving. She is now making what I was offered starting out, and she is much happier. Emily made it clear that she thought the money did not make a difference. If I’m not enjoying my work at any salary, it isn’t the right fit.

I was really impressed with her logic and her approach. I have spent the past year and a half questioning what I should be doing with myself. I’ve wondered if this is right for me. I’ve had bad days and okay days, but I don’t ever think I’ve ever had days in a row where I love what I do. Emily realized the path she chose wasn’t right, and is making headway in correcting it. She’s taking the GMAT coming up, and will start applying for graduate schools. I suppose I admire clear cut decision making because I can’t seem to do it. I’ve lived without furniture for a year and a half because I can’t commit to the purchase.

Seeing an old friend makes me continue to evaluate my own place and current situation. I hope it can inspire me to make some life choices. Maybe I will take her on as a life coach, people in reality shows seem to have them. It could work for me.